The time in Nigeria when kids love their parents equally may never come. In other words, at any time in Nigeria, Mothers will always take precedence over fathers when it comes to importance.
Children in Nigeria have little routine contact with their fathers. While this has changed dramatically in recent times, research indicates that moms in Nigeria still spend twice as much time caring for children than fathers do.
People in Nigeria spend about 51 percent more money on Mother’s day than on father’s day gifts. Do you think that will ever change?
The issue isn’t just about how much time in Nigeria fathers spend with their children.
The following three factors contribute significantly to children’s attachment to their mothers.
1. Kids believe Mothers are nicer.
Most times children describe their mothers as more pleasant and less reactive. They believe they get into more trouble with their fathers.
Because children in Nigeria have greater contact with their mothers, they are better acquainted with them and rely on them for comfort and support. Many children in Nigeria still need to become more familiar with their fathers.
2. Kids see theirs Dads as emotionally Absent
The vast majority of the time in Nigeria, Fathers may be physically present but emotionally absent, and Kids in Nigeria notice this.
Even when Fathers are around, many children don’t feel connected to them. Children complain about their fathers watching TV, using smartphones, or resting after a long day at work.
3. Mothers in Nigeria are Easier to Talk to
Everyone knows that most of the time in Nigeria, mothers tend to be friendlier, more approachable, and easier to talk to.
If you ask most children in Nigeria which parent they will go to if they have a problem, the answer will be resoundingly their Mother.
Fathers rarely get mentioned. Children remark that Nigerian fathers don’t really understand their emotions and that Nigerian fathers react excessively.
Why most Sons in Nigeria are specially close to their mothers
Most of the time in Nigeria, A mother has more intimate knowledge of her son than anyone else. The attachment between a mother and her son is deep-seated from when he is born to adulthood.
A man’s relationship with his Mother significantly impacts how he behaves later in life. This is to such an extent that the way he acts now is due to this relationship.
However effective a father may be, he can only supply his sons with a masculine perspective of the world. Valuable as it is, It ideally takes a Mother to provide the deep feminine input that rounds up a son’s world and opens up more of the wonders of adulthood.
Mothers in Nigeria are rated significantly higher than fathers on acceptance, involvement, and cognitive understanding, suggesting that Men see their mothers as more involved and understanding.
With that said, let’s look at two significant Reasons why most Sons in Nigeria are incredibly close to their mothers.
1. Mothers in Nigeria understand their sons better
A mother’s love & perspective on her son can be quite illuminating. By being his Mother and caring for him in her own unique way, Mothers in Nigeria understand their son’s emotions and sentiments in a way that nobody else (including their girlfriends or wife) can.
For wife’s and girlfriends, Understanding the Psychology behind Mother-Son Relationship is critical to the success of their relationships.
Many men in Nigeria report that they are more intimate and forthcoming with their mothers than their fathers. The mother-son connection is the deepest yet most sensitive of all bonds. It is extremely important and also evolves over time.
Mothers show their sons that it’s okay to feel anxious and overwhelmed. Most of the time, they also provide tips on coping mechanisms.
Men who are close to their mothers know they can call and speak to her, and whether she can provide a solution or not, she will make an effort to listen. Listening makes them feel better, giving them the assurance and confidence he needs to face whatever is ahead.
Believe it or not, most of the time in Nigeria, when a man needs comfort, his Mother is his first choice. Her natural sensitivity to her son’s needs makes her an expert on how to meet those needs.
2. Mothers in Nigeria influence their sons relationships.
A Son who has a special relationship with his Mother has a lower likelihood of developing behavioral problems that might negatively affect his relationships.
Strong bonds between a mother and her son make a man feel more secure, self-assured, and confident.
Sons who don’t have a healthy relationship with their mothers are more prone to act aggressively and hostilely in their relationships.
Also, Regardless of what people say, A man will always compare any woman to his Mother.
Men in Nigeria instinctively and viscerally learn how to appraise, adjudge, weigh up, and value other women from their Mothers.
Mothers consciously or subconsciously cultivate their sons’ emotional intelligence while simultaneously making them independent.
Why Some Mother-Son Relationships Are Dysfunctional.
An unhealthy mother-son relationship is usually caused by a mother who is manipulative, overprotective, abusive, or controlling.
Such an approach can have a long-term impact on the son’s mental health and adult life. These destructive relationships, on the other hand, are rare.
The signs of a dysfunctional mother-son relationship emerge early in the son’s life.
Such a relationship impacts the child’s brain development and cognitive capacities, resulting in bonding and learning difficulties, inappropriate coping methods, and emotional problems.
The emotional wellbeing of the Son can be enhanced by a positive relationship between mothers and adult sons.
Here, we have listed 3 signs of a Dysfunctional mother-and-son relationship.
Toxic Controlling Behavior
A Dysfunctional mother-son connection is exemplified by a mother who insists on controlling her son’s every decision, from the type of clothes he wears to the courses he chooses in university to the person he loves.
Being Overprotective
Mothers in Nigeria are naturally Protective. However, a few warning indications include overprotective conduct that demands the son be closely watched, secretly looking into him, and engaging in his disagreements. Over time, this could annoy him and damage their relationship.
Manipulative Behaviors
A classic illustration of a dysfunctional mother-son relationship is manipulative conduct to get her way or satisfy her goals. Some women tend to manipulate their sons by weeping, making them feel horrible, and gaining sympathy.
3 Steps Mothers Can Take To Strengthen Their Relationship With Their Sons
Pay Attention, Understand him, and Show Empathy
A mother’s job is never-ending. It can be exhausting, and in the bustle, mothers frequently ignore their sons and misunderstand them.
Does he want or need your support?
Is his behavior too assertive?
His attitude and verbal choices will be very revealing. All you have to do is listen with your eyes, ears, and maternal instinct.
Keep out of Yours sons personal space and Keep His Privacy in mind.
We all require privacy. A mother must respect her son’s privacy, whether it concerns his personal or professional life.
It can be intrusive and unwelcome to press him for information about his day, relationships, job, etc. He will merely become irritated and distance himself even more from his mother.
A woman must not meddle in her son’s personal relationships.
Do you interfere with your son’s relationships by giving unsolicited advice, acting as the arbitrator, or condemning his wife or girlfriend? Or do you regularly drop by his house and overstay your welcome?
Nobody, particularly a mother, should sway relationship partners. A mother should Maintain a tight relationship with her son and partner but give them enough space not to get irritated should they start making you feel unwelcome.
Things Fathers in Nigeria can do
- Don’t let your wife assign you the role of enforcer. This can cause father and sons fight a lot.
Some mothers want to paint you as the villain. Both parents should talk about and carry out consequences for their children. - Slow Down, Turn off the TV, set the phone aside, and spend a little more time with your kids. You’ll be astounded by the response you receive.
- You can be something other than a disciplinarian. Try Less talking and more listening. Allow your children to get to know you, and you to get to know them and get immersed in their worlds.
Mothers Don’t Always Come out on top.
Most parents in Nigeria will experience some inclination from their kids at one point. And whether you are the beloved parent or the parent who is being given a wide berth, this can be very disturbing.
This usually happens due to a child’s ability to communicate more freely with one parent or due to domestic abuse or divorce. Whatever the reason for a child’s preference for one parent over another, parents must maintain a healthy perspective and understand what it means to be the favorite.
What it means to be a preferred parent.
Being the preferred parent implies a preference for one parent over the other, but it is not synonymous with love. Most children in Nigeria will say they love one parent more than the other, but they really mean that they prefer one parent over the other.
The problem arises when parents believe their child does not love them as much as the other parent and decide to do something about it.
Because of their desire to be the favorite, some parents may begin making parenting decisions that make their children feel good rather than creating the healthy atmosphere necessary for their growth and development.
The vast majority of the time in Nigeria, when children prefer one parent over another, this does not indicate that the preferred parent is superior. Sometimes it’s merely a phase in a child’s development; other times, it may be due to shared hobbies or the permissiveness of that parent.
Conclusion.
Parents in Nigeria should downplay who is the preferred parent. Kids will not love their parents equally, and that’s a fact.
Parents should focus on providing a healthy environment where the children can grow and develop into emotionally, physically, and socially healthy adults.
Creating such a healthy environment requires discipline, guidelines, and boundaries that kids frequently balk against or refuse to embrace.